The Apprentice Week Six verdict - Squirrels don't like meatballs

Enjoying that... whatever it is, Nick?

As the results of this week’s task were read out, a noticeable look of disappointment cascaded over Lord Sugar’s face. It was a look aimed at everyone, winner or loser, on the other side of that table. It was a look that said it all.

Last week the worst team won and the wrong person was fired, and this week there was a sense that it would all happen again – and it nearly did. Thankfully this was a return to form and a return to some of the business sensibilities that the show has lacked this year.


It was short on that ‘Apprentice’ brand of slapstick of recent weeks, making up for it with an abundance of rank stupidity and opportunities to laugh at it.

Kicking off with the playtime at the Fun House, the contestants were half way through their most intellectually challenging task to date – getting their Xbox 360’s Kinect to work. Lord Sugar burst in however (If only he had literally burst in… through a wall) to announce the latest task.

The candidates were off to Edinburgh to sell gourmet food for the usual goal of MASSIVE PROFITS. Sugar decided the show needed a bit more credibility at this point so decided to make the show’s two most annoying candidates, Adam and Jenna, the project managers.

Getting right down to business the teams went to opposite sides of the house to discuss what food they’d make. After much deliberation Jenna’s team decided that they would sell food with a Scottish-feel… in Scotland. Good work team!

Adam upon learning Japanese food comes from Japan

Meanwhile Adam shot down Tom's sensible sushi idea before announcing to camera that he’d rather have a burger – completely ignoring the “gourmet” part of Lord Sugar’s task. Eventually they settled on pasta and meatballs, which was definitely a step in the right direction.

After a bit of market research (i.e. begging more knowledgeable people for any tips) they got the train to Edinburgh, which was the perfect time to wear ties and discuss business strategy. For Adam this meant throwing the idea out there that they could add Corned Beef to their product to bulk it up. Does Adam even know what gourmet means? Luckily the idea never came to fruition.

The grand idea for Team Meatballs was to sell at the nearby Hearts Vs Rangers football match. There would be 20,000 people there, how could it possibly go wrong? Well trying to sell pasta and meatballs at £5.99 to people who prefer pies and deep fried mars bars is one way it could go wrong. And it did.

Jenna’s team decided to make Scottish-style Hot Pot which sold a lot better despite the best efforts of dancing sales people Ricky and Laura to drive away customers. Jenna even said she’d use her charm when selling, something that she somehow managed to say with a straight face.

To be fair though Jenna's straight face is her regular face

As the day wound on things got desperate. Prices dropped, both teams moved location, Azhar tried to sell to a passing squirrel (who wasn't interested) and Stephen had a bright idea involving a tour bus. This lead to the episode’s standout moment as Katie, dressed  as a pizza, tried to sell meatballs to largely foreign tourists on an open top bus. Brilliant.

Squirrel has no time for your meatball shenanigans And with that the task ended and the teams shot back down to London for their weekly Sugar-coated bollocking.

Team HotPot took the prize by only £21, leaving Adam dumb-founded as to how his perfect plan could have possibly fallen apart. He brought back Katie and the once again quiet Azhar, whose only purpose seems to be to wear a different silly outfit each week. This week he was a Roman centurion!

I’ve been harsh on Adam but…. Well, actually I’ve been completely justified. Adam was completely at fault for the failure of the task, even to the point that “Fire Adam” was trending worldwide on Twitter.

To have your ineptitude recognised worldwide is a feat I’ll never achieve in my life (though maybe I should) so credit to Adam for that. Definitely something for the CV.

Katie championed the fatal football game locale, Katie wanted a price raised from £5.99 and Katie had been on the losing team four times at this point so she was the one to leave. It was an inevitable firing but based on the task Adam was clearly the one who should have gone.

Then again, he didn’t dress up as a pizza.

And stay out!

Quote of the Week:  “Squirrel! meatballs?”

Next week: Adam yells at an elderly West Ham fan on a mobility scooter and a wrestler sells a mop.