Soaps preview: Mon 18 - Fri 22 November

There’s a beating on ‘Corrie’, an illicit kiss on ‘Enders’ and the secret couldn’t be more out on ‘Emmerdale’.

Coronation Street
Sleeping rough certainly hasn’t improved David’s temper. Those cobbles must be murder on your back, even if you are a youngster. So he waits in the shadows stalking Nick, Gail and Kylie who are doing their best to get on with their lives, some with better results than others...

Nick is falling further apart as he returns to work – he sets up meetings then forgets about them and snaps at Simon and has a go at Gloria. And the truth is that he doesn’t really know what he’s doing as his mind can’t take in his memory loss and mood swings. And things get worse when Tina goes to pick up Simon from school and can’t find him – because Nick has picked him up. But can’t remember where he is now.

[Ex-Corrie star says leaving show was like JUMPING OFF BRIDGE]

Nick’s suffering is no consolation to David, who is just desperate for a drink. He forces his way behind the bar at the Rovers to try and serve himself some booze. But messing with Tina nowadays means you mess with no less a force than Peter Barlow, who seems to be getting closer and closer to his nanny. (Men, eh? Such clichés)

He invites David outside, and in one of soap's least impressive fight scenes ever, he gets punched in the face and knocked out. Still, he needn’t worry too much, as Kylie’s soon on the scene telling David that if he doesn’t leave Weatherfield soon, she’ll call the police.

Also this week: Steve goes back to school but considers quitting when he finds it all a bit difficult. Tchah, that’s not the attitude.

EastEnders
There are few soap couples in Soapland that we reckon should be with each other for eternity – Ken and Deirdre, Robbie and Well ‘Ard and Kat and Alfie. So even though they can barely stop yelling at each other and there’s the small matter of him marrying another woman, we know they’ll always be together in electric leopard-print dreams.

So when Roxy stays home to look after Tommy for Michael’s funeral and they start exchanging glances, seasoned Kat and Alfie watchers know they are meaningful. Very meaningful. And so when Alfie is later forced out on a stag do by Ian, he gets drinking and talking about his exes.

[New EastEnders star: Role was SPECIALLY WRITTEN FOR ME]

Meanwhile, Kat is left out of Roxy’s hen do for some reason. And she’s stuck at home with Bianca and a bottle of wine for company. After Bianca staggers out for her night out, there’s a knock at the door and Alfie appears. And by the look on his disgusting shirt, he means business.

He chats for a while then confesses he has feelings for her before lunging in for a snog. Surprisingly though, she backs off and sends him packing.

And then the next day, she decides that to get over him and move on with her life - she has to leave Walford – for ever. Don’t do it, Kat. Don’t do it.

Also this week: Joey decides to get Alice out of prison – by romancing Janine and getting her to change her story. Talk about playing with fire.

Emmerdale
Oh, Lord. Jai’s in big trouble. The Sharma chameleon has kept the fact he’s Archie’s dad secret for over a year – but now Sam knows it’s only a matter of time before Charity finds out. She’s already suspicious because Jai has whisked him over to stay with them while Samson is ill.

Rishi then buckles under the pressure of her questions about why Sam quit his job and rather than face up like a man, he, er, mumbles something about Jai and has a heart attack.

Never mind whether Rishi survives or not, Charity sees this as an excuse to confront Jai. And he finally, inevitably, tells her the truth. He’s Archie’s dad. In a rage Charity slaps Rachel. But that’s just for starters. In fact, compared to what she’s going to wreak, it’s not even a starter, it’s an amuse-bouche.

Also this week: Priya and Alicia are still at war. And things aren’t improved when David discovers Priya hasn’t had an abortion.