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Soaps preview (27 Feb-2 Mar)

EastEnders
Ah, London’s Gherkin. Now you won't only be known as the building from helicopter shots on 'The Apprentice'. You'll also be known as the place where Michael Moon proposed to Janine.

It's a very romantic moment, after a week of fighting. Janine is trying to distance herself from Michael, going so far as to hire Whitney as a live-in nanny for when the baby comes and insisting that the baby will take her surname.

Even at her Ante-natal class, Janine is talking about making her own decisions and declaring she's too posh to push. She shocks the class by asking if it covers elective C-sections and private hospitals.

Anyway, Michael has enough and ditches her, telling her that she won't even notice he's gone. But then abruptly, on Friday, he has second thoughts and takes her up the Gherkin.

She's amazed when, in the restaurant, he gets down on one knee and proposes. And so she should be, there's clearly more to this than meets the eye. It's one of Michael's schemes, isn't it? Mind you she probably won't have anything to worry about - as we've discussed in the past, Michael's plots are so weak he could be a writer on ‘Hollyoaks’.

So will she agree? We're not allowed to tell you.

Also this week: Mandy's mum Lorraine makes her life a misery. She steals from Ian and Mandy covers for her out of embarrassment. But Lorraine is so horrid, even Lucy starts to feel for Mandy.



Coronation Street

It's not fun being Carla Connor at the moment, despite the fact she's finally with the man she's been in love with - Peter. Unfortunately for her, Peter comes with a good deal of baggage and most of it is Simon Barlow shaped.

Trying to look after the screaming brat whilst keeping herself well lubricated ensures Carla is soon being bad-mouthed as an evil stepmother throughout Weatherfield. Sally puts the boot in, claiming she pulled Simon along by his ear while slurring, and of course Stella can't wait to join in too.

And then, to make matters worse, Leanne returns (Who could really stand living with Toyah for that long?). As soon as he sees her, Simon bursts into tears and claims Carla hit him. Leanne, never one to shirk a scrap, heads straight to Underworld and tries to lump Carla.

Frank restrains her (Surely he'd want to see that catfight?) and later Peter forces Simon to tell the truth. If we were Peter, we'd be tempted to give him away, frankly. But that doesn't mean Carla's troubles are over. She's been self-medicating all week from a bottle of Scotch in her handbag and all of this bother leads to a row with Peter. And so what does he do when he has a row? Have a drink, of course.

Peter and Carla: happy ever after? Not likely. But they'll certainly be merry for a while.

Also this week: Lewis returns the money he stole and persuades the magistrates to give him community service. He's still got a bit to do before he can win Audrey round again though. Or has he?


Emmerdale
Proposals on soaps, eh? Just like buses. In that they're necessary to move things forward, come around really quite often and sometimes they involve ugly people.

Anyway, after the glam of Janine and Michael atop a London landmark, ‘Emmerdale’ brings us back down to earth with Rhona attempting a leap year proposal for Paddy. She arranges to meet him at the B&B to make the romantic gesture – but she's late and he's suspicious. He ends up drinking a bottle of wine before she arrives and then becomes abusive.

She, not surprisingly, changes her mind and decides not to propose at all.

The next day, Paddy tries desperately to make amends but Rhona won't have any of it. He pours out his heart to Victoria, who tells him about Rhona's plans and tells him he has to man up and propose himself in order to make things right.

But by the time he's bought the ring, Rhona has also had a chat with Victoria, telling her she's glad that she didn't propose, because "there's no happy endings in relationships" (‘Emmerdale’ is not frightened of existentialism).

So when Paddy gets down on one knee, she turns him down, saying it might ruin what they have. Poor Paddy.

Also this week: Cameron and Debbie have a few more on and offs. He thinks he'll break up with her, then she breaks up with him. Honestly. Young people, today, eh?