If there’s one person in Soapland who needs a holiday it’s Peter Barlow. So the good news is he’s planning a trip to the Caribbean. The bad news is that he’s planning to abduct his son Simon and take him with him.
Peter’s harebrained scheme comes after an effort to get back with Leanne fails (surprise!). He tells Simon that they’re going on an adventure and plans to get a boat to Lanzarote before disappearing to the Caribbean.
Despite the fact he was trying to get back with Leanne, he asks Carla to come with him – and amazingly, the tough-talking factory boss agrees – presumably dreaming of all those cocktails you get served in coconuts.
But with time running out, Simon calls Leanne (honestly, we can’t think of anything worse than being trapped on a desert island with that devil child…) and she cottons on to what’s happening and travels to the station with Michelle to foil his plan.
There they make Carla realise the folly of his scheme. She joins their side as they try and persuade Peter to grow up. He asks Simon who he’d like to live with (we’ve been here before, haven’t we?) and then decides to leave anyway. Poor old Peter. Hope you have a nice break.
Also this week: Michelle’s son Ryan returns from uni looking completely different. He has a snog with Sophie, sets fire to the factory and stages an accident. Not bad for a first week.
Who would have thought that the loving new parents would fall apart so quickly, eh? Apart from everyone who has ever watched ‘Enders? Janine and Michael are torn apart by mistrust despite the fact poor baby Scarlett is still in hospital.
Michael misses her consultation, being unable to deal with his own feelings and leaving Janine feeling sad and lonely. You could almost feel sorry for her, if you didn’t remember what a cold-hearted vixen she can be.
When Michael does show up, it’s carrying some business papers for her to sign, so he can have access to her bank accounts. You know, one of those business papers. We’ve all signed them. She, not surprisingly, becomes concerned at the idea. And, later on, she does a bit of checking up on him.
She notices his new car and walks in on him with his head in the safe, which leads to a row. He persuades her that the only thing he feels able to do to support her and Scarlett is keep things going at home. She relents but still tells Billy to change the combination of the safe.
Later on, after he’s run out of a post-natal class to do with emergency resuscitation, Scarlett is taken ill once more. Janine phones him, desperate for his support. But he has just discovered she’s changed the combination of the safe and really doesn’t trust him at all. Will he ever forgive her?
Also this week: Shirley and Lola are locked in a room together and end up bonding when they talk about Lola’s fears of becoming a mum.
If the “unlucky in love, lucky at cards” maxim holds any truth, then never think about playing Marlon Dingle at poker.
The poor lad discovers this week that Paddy and his former love Rhona are moving to New Zealand. And not only that - but the pair are planning to take his son Leo with them.
At first he orders them not to go but they’re determined. Desperate Marlon appeals to Paddy’s better nature, saying that without Leo, he has nothing. Kind-hearted Paddy comes up with a solution – Marlon should move with them. After all, the weather in Auckland can’t be any worse than it is here, can it?
Knowing it’s probably the only way he’s going to have any contact with Leo, Marlon accepts. But then word gets back to one person in the village who might change his mind – Laurel.
Again, realising she may only have one opportunity before he goes (people emigrate with great swiftness from ‘Emmerdale’, after all. Look at Val), Laurel tears round to find Marlon and pours her heart out. She tells the chef that she still loves him and can’t imagine life without him.
But can he choose Laurel over his little baby son?
Also this week: Debbie becomes increasingly suspicious of Cameron. And rightly so. The dirty dog.