TV highlights (31 Mar-6 Apr)

You Are The Weakest Link: Goodbye (Sat, 3.45pm, BBC1)

The wheel has turned away from Anne Robinson’s quiz show phenomenon. Where once TV delighted in cruelty, now the BBC is earnestly churning out documentaries about bullying and has bet the farm on a talent show which is so lily-livered that we have to pretend that it’s all about The Voice, rather than picking the contestants who are going to make the biggest spectacle of themselves. So after 12 years and 1693 episodes, the Queen Of Mean is calling it a day; but not before welcoming back her favourite nine contestants for a final show. ‘The Weakest Link’ really has been a TV phenomenon: the show’s catchphrase has been used in Prime Minister’s Question Time, by Blair to Hague, and it averaged five million viewers at its peak, unheard of for BBC2 daytime. Contestants welcomed back include drag queen Mandy Gap, portly student-turned-wrestler Phil Green and Archie Bland, the unfortunately named chap who is now a successful broadsheet journalist. Expect Anne to reduce him to a quivering mess once again. Jeremy Paxman was considered as the presenter in the early days: he’d be a pussycat in comparison.

Silent Witness (Sun and Mon, 9pm, BBC1) new series

‘The Weakest Link’ might have had its day, but another of the BBC’s bankers is still going strong: eight million people regularly tune in to see the grisly work of the nation’s favourite forensic pathologists. As the 15th series begins, Dr. Harry Cunningham (Tom Ward), Dr. Nikki Alexander (Emilia Fox) and Professor Leo Dalton (William Gaminara) are still doing what they do, one horribly mangled dead body at a time. Here, Leo is devastated by the suicide of a friend, while Nikki has a female serial killer in her sights. Shelley Conn and Vincent Regan guest in the opener; Sanjeev Bhaskar, Adrian Dunbar and Tamzin Outhwaite are among those popping up to be murdered or investigated later in the series.

Once Upon A Time (Sun, 8pm, Five) If you’ve been enjoying ‘Grimm’ – the fantasy police drama series about an Oregon cop who lives among fairy-tale characters that only he can see – then check this out. In this, unhappy 28-year-old bail bondsman Emma (Jennifer Morrison) is reunited with the ten-year-old son she gave up for adoption and visits the town where he lives, Storybrooke. The boy tries to convince her that they are characters displaced from fairy tales, condemned to play out a struggle between good and evil on this plane. That would make Robert Carlyle’s local bigshot Rumpelstiltskin, and the town’s mayor (Lana Parrilla) the Evil Queen, right? So what happened to the child that was the product of Prince Charming’s romance with Snow White…? A little bit ‘Lost’, a little bit ‘Buffy’, ‘Once Upon A Time’ has been a massive hit in the USA.

Disasters At Sea: Why Ships Sink (Sun, 8pm, C4)

As Julian Fellowes may have mentioned, this year is the hundredth anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic. It says something about man’s collective hubris that we would think “well, that’s too big to sink – it’s got a tennis court on it, for God’s sake”, but then find ourselves baffled every time by that sad glugging noise. A hundred years ago, it was the Titanic, these days it is 290m long Costa Concordia that has capsized to everyone’s shock and horror. This fascinating documentary looks at maritime disasters throughout history and picks out the truth about what went wrong from a combination of factors including design flaws, construction weaknesses and, perhaps most compelling, human error.

The Undateables (Tue, 9pm, C4)

A stand-up comedian who has Tourette’s syndrome? That sounds like the basis of a TV show. So what about a stand-up comedian who has Tourette’s syndrome and is single and looking for love? Channel 4 has never had it so good. Luke says he is scared to approach a girl because he’s worried he’ll insult her; while others featured on this three-part documentary series about dating and disability include Richard, who has Asperger’s, and wheelchair-user Penny, who is three foot three but has a thing for tall men. Nobody said finding love was easy, but boy do these folks have it hard. Some sweet stories, and plenty of black humour, in amongst some sad moments. Impossible not to wish all of them better luck…

ALSO

The mighty swords and fantasy drama Game Of Thrones (Mon, 9pm, Sky Atlantic) (pcitured) returns, with all of the noble families gathering their forces. Aristocrats of an altogether more flighty nature in the new series of Made In Chelsea (Mon, 10pm, E4) . Catch up with the state-of-the-nation baby show One Born Every Minute: What Happened Next? (Thu, 9pm, C4) . And Marrying Prince Harry (Fri, 7.35pm, C4) is a First Cut doc following five women who want to do just that. They are all bananas.