Tyrone’s in trouble on ‘Coronation Street’, love is in the air for Roxy in ‘EastEnders’ and Laurel faces more custody problems on ‘Emmerdale’.
Who would have thought that psycho Kirsty wouldn’t react well to motherhood? Apart from everyone. Oh, Tyrone. You really shouldn’t have got yourself in this mess. The lethal recipe of Ruby’s crying mixed in with Kirsty’s temper and a drop of Tyrone’s interfering produces a bowl of trouble soup for the poor dad.
Concerned that Kirsty is taking to motherhood like a duck to the Sahara, Tyrone sends round Fiz and Sally to give what every new mother so craves – lots of advice. Obviously this brilliant plan is not successful and Kirsty doesn’t listen to a word, until Sally reveals that Tyrone has mentioned her mothering skills behind her back.
This lights the blue touch-paper and Kirsty’s fireworks begin. As Ruby’s wails grow louder, Kirsty sets about her house in a manner that suggests she might have Greek heritage. She smashes every plate in sight and lays waste to everything smashable.
Tyrone is horrified to discover the state of the place when he gets home. Concerned about Kirsty’s mental state, he grabs Ruby and runs her over to the medical centre where he lies that her pram collapsed and he wants to check out that she’s alright. Weak stuff. But surely Kirsty hasn’t harmed her own child, has she?
Also this week: The return of Wendy Crozier – the lady who caused Ken and Deirdre’s first divorce - means that there’s trouble ahead for the Barlows. Hurrah.
There’s something in the air for blonde former owners of The Vic – following on from Sharon and Jack getting on like the Dagmar on fire, now Roxy’s flirting with all and sundry.
After Christian stands her up, leaving her nothing to do but drink, she ends up chatting with another lonely soul - AJ. And when that chatting becomes laughter it’s only a hop, skip and jump till they’re back at the Masoods and giggling away in his bedroom.
Zainab hears their giggling and has to be talked out of going up there and breaking them up by Masood and Christian. And thank God. We really don’t want to see that.
And that’s not it for Roxy. Later in the week, she has a cosy dinner with Michael and starts getting emotionally attached (really, Roxy? REALLY?) to him.
But when Roxy turns up and takes Scarlett for a walk round the shops, while he’s asleep, he turns on her and tells her he doesn’t want her running around after him.
After he calms down, he reveals that Janine left the country eight days ago and he has no idea where she is. He breaks down saying he was relieved when she took Scarlett because he doesn’t think he can deal with her. He then dumps the baby with Roxy and shuts the door on her. Has he completely lost it?
Also this week: Gary Lucy arrives as a flash city boy who has some cash he can put into the ArgeeBhajee. But he’s interested in more than Syed’s balance sheet. Could he want to get his hands on his metrics?
Never mind Roxy and Scarlett, you know what would be a good business idea? Setting up as a custody lawyer in Emmerdale. No one ever seems to know whose baby belongs to whom and for what reason. They’re forever arguing about adopting or leaving for New Zealand with each other’s children.
The latest in a long line of custody battles opens up when Laurel, desperately short of money, decides she has to move her family in with Marlon. But Gabby doesn’t react well to the change and gives her mum an earful at the very idea of having a new mother.
Her stepmum attempts to talk her down and explain the scenario to her but it’s not long before Gabby runs back to her Dad, who wastes no time playing the angelic father. Deciding that he’s lost his main chance of getting back together with Laurel, Ashley decides it is time he did something. And so he announces that because Gabby is his biological daughter, she belongs with him. Cue calls to custody lawyers.
Also this week: Sarah needs a bone marrow transplant desperately. Debbie orders doctors to induce her so she can use her saviour sibling right away. Ugh.